I was out getting some Panda Express when I decided to walk into Blockbuster Video and ended up with a movie I had heard nothing about, "10,000 B.C.". Going in, I noticed the store had recovered a little since the last time I was there. Rental stores like Blockbuster are taking an economic hit thanks to the new marketing dominance of internet video, YouTube, and companies like NetFlix.

For those of you who haven't heard of NetFlix, welcome to the new generation of entertainment. NetFlix delivers movies directly to your house, will never charge you late fees, and you can get a virtually unlimited number of rentals at no extra cost. Most of the movies you can watch directly off their website without having to wait for the DVD. The internet not only brought with it little petty convinces like managing all your banking needs at home, email, online music stores, etc. but it also brought a new way of looking at the way businesses treat their customers.

When this "web 2.0" (read web two-point-oh) craze hit (I consider NetFlix to be a part of this) it sparked a new form of honesty. Around this time small businesses were becoming more and more dominant, and one of the biggest strengths of small business is that they can focus their attention on an individual customer's needs.

How many times have you gone into Blockbuster to find you have an old late fee?



A small business owner would be more inclined to say, "Well, OK Mark, I'll wipe the fee this time but don't let it happen next time." where a larger business would give you a cold face and point to the customer policy sign that's framed on the wall next to a portrait of George Bush. It's the kind of frustrating business practices that make customers angry. Nevertheless, either one of these scenarios creates an unfavorable situation that ultimately turns people off.

The Web 2.0 way of thinking means that instead of keeping hold that old business model, companies should begin focusing on finding a new model that benefits the customer - the idea being that keeping things practical and "real" ultimately means keeping the customers. For example, people don't like late fees, so lets find a new way to do our business that eliminates late fees. That's what NetFlix did.

The old type of mentality is what's keeping old businesses back. Its the mentality that you see on those loud TV commercials and infomercials.



It's that advertising formula that we've heard so many times that it's lost all meaning whatsoever. It's transparent, powerless, and really annoying. It's like the late fees that you just want to get away from.

10,000 B.C. is that formula

So I got home and began watching 10,000 B.C. It started out pretty cool... but that feeling started going away after about 10 minutes. These prehistoric humans have... shaved faces... perfect teeth... speak English... but they have all the cliche superficial things that make them look primal. Neclaces of bones. "Dirty" faces. The old wise people holding staffs with dangley skulls. You know... so that way you know they're wise. And apparently girls wear concealer in 10,000, too.



But most importantly, it had an orchestral soundtrack that featured "primal" drums and a solo bamboo flute. This flute is the worst cliche ever. I hate that spiritual flute. Don't get me wrong, I love the instrument it has a beautiful sound. But film composers use it with no remorse as if there was no other way to convey the same spiritual idea.

It was in The Last Temptation of Christ, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Last Samuri, to name a few. Any time Chikotay (the Indian from Star Trek Voyager) starts talking about something spiritual there's that damn flute. It's the mother of all film music cliches. If anybody ever asks me for the "wise primal flute" I'm going to kill them. There are better, more sophisticated ways to make a point than hitting somebody over the head with it. You might as well put up a huge sign that says "THIS SITUATION IS SPIRITUAL AND PRIMITIVE-ISH. BELIEVE IT!".

Conclusion

10,000 BC is what we "Web 2.0" customers have come to hate. It represents the idea that we viewers are nothing more than mindless consumers that will ingest the same regurgitated crap. Making movies like this is like telling the viewers that they're not special, they're stupid, will believe anything that they're told, and will be happy to pay late fees.

The tomato meter gives it 9 out of 100 - a single digit rating. That website rottentomatoes.com is a good example of the internet keeping things real. Back before the internet you would get one of those reviews from a bought-out reviewer:




Rotten Tomatoes takes reviews from everywhere and puts them into one rating, the "tomato meter". And you can get tomato meter ratings from professional reviewers and regular Joes. You're not limited to one-sided and slanted perspectives, just keeping it real.

In conclusion, 10,000 B.C. reaks with the hollywood forumla. Nothing is original, it's a bunch of recycled gimmicks (some used more than once) that you've seen in other movies. Seriously, take a look at this cover art. Look familiar?



So the point of all this, my fellow film-maker readers, is to embrace within your films the most important aspect of a new generation: give 'em something unexpected, and always keep it real.

Now, you definitely have to check out this satire of video renting by the Onion. I love the Onion. They take the formulas and turn them against themselves for some brilliant comedy.

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